14 juni 2012
12 juni 2012
WTF happened to those simple days? :/ ...
The Ugly Truth and it goes both ways, the never ending cycle...
8 juni 2012
Relationships = Bird Cage?
I've seen a lot of relationships fall apart for stupid reasons or just couples who stay in "miserable" relationships because they are not willing to listen and accept the other person for who they are, they think they do but they really don't. The most sad thing is when they try to change each other, without thinking about how hard it really is to change one self. Most common thing is that you get so comfortable and act like you're each others properties and you loose the sight of what made you fall in love with that person and what gave you those tingling feelings in your stomach.
Yes, relationships are about giving and taking but sometimes some things cannot be shared.
Like, there are some feelings you have and you want to share them with your partner. By all means yes, you should share your thoughts and try to explain what you are feeling BUT you can't expect another person to truly understand what you are feeling inside. Sometimes maybe You feel like you really understand someone when they are opening up to you, but then you realize at some point that it wasn't exactly the way you thought it was, and you misunderstood some parts of it...
I'm probably not making any sense to you who's reading this but I'm trying to explain my thoughts the best that I can.
Expectations... It's a given that you develop some different types of expectations when you become closer to a person. But the thing you should think about is that, the other person will also have expectations, different ones than yours.
This may lead to that you think you owe each other some things, but you don't, except understanding and meeting half ways. Like one of my teachers always said: "Adapt, Improvise, Overcome!"
I read once somewhere where it said; "love one another, but lets not try to posses one another", I love that sentence, couldn't agree more.
Let me share a story/metaphor that maybe can make you understand my weird thoughts about relationships nowadays...
'Once upon a time, there was a bird. He was adorned with two perfect wings and with glossy, colorful, marvelous feathers. In short, he was a creature made to fly about freely in the sky, bringing joy to everyone who saw him.
One day, a woman saw this bird and fell in love with him. She watched his flight, her mouth wide in amazement, her heart pounding, her eyes shining with excitement. She invited the bird to fly with her, and the two travelled across the sky in perfect harmony. She admired the bird.
But then she thought: He might want to visit far-off mountains! She got afraid, afraid that she would never feel the same way about any other bird. And she felt envy, envy for the birds ability to fly.
She felt alone.
She thought: I'm going to set a trap, the next time the bird appears, he will never leave again.
The bird, who also was in love, returned the following day, fell into the trap and was put in a cage.
She looked at the bird every day. There he was, the object of her passion, she showed him to her friends who said: Now you have everything you could possibly want.
However a strange transformation began to take place: now that she had the bird and no longer needed to woo him, she began to lose interest. The bird, unable to fly and express the true meaning of his life, his feathers lost his gloss, he grew ugly, and the woman no longer paid attention, except by feeding him and cleaning out his cage. One day, the bird died. The woman felt terribly sad and spent all her time thinking about him. But she didn't remember the cage, she thought only of the day when she had seen him for the first time, flying freely.
If she had looked more deeply into herself, she would have realized that what had thrilled her about the bird was his freedom, the energy of his wings in motion, not physical body.
Without the bird, her life too lost all meaning and Death came knocking on her door.
Why have you come? she asked Death.
Death replied; if you had allowed him to come and go, you would have loved and admired him even more, and thats why you now need me in order to find him again.'
My point with this post is, love, be loved, share, care, enjoy life to the fullest and if you do have the luck to share it all with someone, do it! But you have to listen, try to understand and never think that a person belongs to you as an object. Never try to own someone or get too comfortable, that is when you kill the spark and the passion. Always remember that every individual have different ways of showing love, learn to appreciate the way love is given to you and not try to change that way. Just because you have a different kind of view or thought about how love is given. You show your love your way, and your partner their way... I do believe with a little bit more effort putting into understanding and not wanting too much out of relationships, relationships nowadays could be something really beautiful! Two different individuals living their own lives the way they are supposed to do and yet with each other.
Yes, relationships are about giving and taking but sometimes some things cannot be shared.
Like, there are some feelings you have and you want to share them with your partner. By all means yes, you should share your thoughts and try to explain what you are feeling BUT you can't expect another person to truly understand what you are feeling inside. Sometimes maybe You feel like you really understand someone when they are opening up to you, but then you realize at some point that it wasn't exactly the way you thought it was, and you misunderstood some parts of it...
I'm probably not making any sense to you who's reading this but I'm trying to explain my thoughts the best that I can.
Expectations... It's a given that you develop some different types of expectations when you become closer to a person. But the thing you should think about is that, the other person will also have expectations, different ones than yours.
This may lead to that you think you owe each other some things, but you don't, except understanding and meeting half ways. Like one of my teachers always said: "Adapt, Improvise, Overcome!"
I read once somewhere where it said; "love one another, but lets not try to posses one another", I love that sentence, couldn't agree more.
Let me share a story/metaphor that maybe can make you understand my weird thoughts about relationships nowadays...
'Once upon a time, there was a bird. He was adorned with two perfect wings and with glossy, colorful, marvelous feathers. In short, he was a creature made to fly about freely in the sky, bringing joy to everyone who saw him.
One day, a woman saw this bird and fell in love with him. She watched his flight, her mouth wide in amazement, her heart pounding, her eyes shining with excitement. She invited the bird to fly with her, and the two travelled across the sky in perfect harmony. She admired the bird.
But then she thought: He might want to visit far-off mountains! She got afraid, afraid that she would never feel the same way about any other bird. And she felt envy, envy for the birds ability to fly.
She felt alone.
She thought: I'm going to set a trap, the next time the bird appears, he will never leave again.
The bird, who also was in love, returned the following day, fell into the trap and was put in a cage.
She looked at the bird every day. There he was, the object of her passion, she showed him to her friends who said: Now you have everything you could possibly want.
However a strange transformation began to take place: now that she had the bird and no longer needed to woo him, she began to lose interest. The bird, unable to fly and express the true meaning of his life, his feathers lost his gloss, he grew ugly, and the woman no longer paid attention, except by feeding him and cleaning out his cage. One day, the bird died. The woman felt terribly sad and spent all her time thinking about him. But she didn't remember the cage, she thought only of the day when she had seen him for the first time, flying freely.
If she had looked more deeply into herself, she would have realized that what had thrilled her about the bird was his freedom, the energy of his wings in motion, not physical body.
Without the bird, her life too lost all meaning and Death came knocking on her door.
Why have you come? she asked Death.
Death replied; if you had allowed him to come and go, you would have loved and admired him even more, and thats why you now need me in order to find him again.'
My point with this post is, love, be loved, share, care, enjoy life to the fullest and if you do have the luck to share it all with someone, do it! But you have to listen, try to understand and never think that a person belongs to you as an object. Never try to own someone or get too comfortable, that is when you kill the spark and the passion. Always remember that every individual have different ways of showing love, learn to appreciate the way love is given to you and not try to change that way. Just because you have a different kind of view or thought about how love is given. You show your love your way, and your partner their way... I do believe with a little bit more effort putting into understanding and not wanting too much out of relationships, relationships nowadays could be something really beautiful! Two different individuals living their own lives the way they are supposed to do and yet with each other.
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